I AM NOT ... : 無料・フリー素材/写真
I AM NOT ... / mrbill78636
| ライセンス | クリエイティブ・コモンズ 表示 2.1 |
|---|---|
| 説明 | ... never have been and never will be just another pretty face in the crowd. That's what this guy said to me when I opened his JPEG, but first, ask me about my day.Anon: OK, Bill, how was your day?... strange you should ask, I'm having a very phenomenal day, as a matter of fact. I'm going to give you the programs and settings that made this conversion, but I want to answer your question in a bit more detail first.... anyway, I got up, had to pee (surprise surprise) and afterward looked at the clock ... 7:30, certainly not the earliest I've ever gotten up and certainly not the latest I will ever get up. No matter, I'm ready for breakfast.... first a bit of play time with Beasley and Susie, then off to the kitchen where the enthusiasm has been picked up by both dogs A pat here, a rub there and that didn't take long at all. and so the parade to the kitchen begins. Tillie (feline of the estrogen persuasion) leads, serving as drum majorette, often slowing the speed to drag out the sheer glory of the moment, then Susie following, then running under the wheelchair to get on to the kitchen first. Beasley stays in the rear because every now and then he has to jump up and place front paws on the back of the wheelchair to speed me up a bit, otherwise we'd never get there. When our magnificent entourage reaches the kitchen, I can just sense that roaches, spiders and many other unidentified organisms are standing with their right hands over their hearts, in abject admiration for the glory that is us. I'm humbled.... I made an executive decision and decided to have Huevos Rancheros this morning. Excellent choirce! Oh, and let's make that FOUR eggs this morning. I've made my iced vanilla coffee ahead, the night before, so I'm already sipping on my pint of that nectar of ecstasy, as I break the eggs, and then begin to beat them a bit before microwaving them. ...SHIT! ... dropped an egg! Hey, it hit the bottom of the refrigerator and only cracked. OK, so I'm having five eggs for breakfast. Gimme a break, here, that's hardly a world record and besides, I need to keep up my strength.... four microwave applications at 30 seconds each, stirring in between and adding salt (I was told to eat more salt on my last doctor's appointment) and VIOLA! I am ready to make the final transition from eggs to HUEVOS RANCHEROS.... the addition of three heaping teaspoons of pecante sauce, plus two of Wolf brand canned chili and my eggs are not only speaking Spanish, but are cooled down enough to begin eating them immediately.....very quickly, an eighth of a pound of ground beef in the microwave for 1.5 minutes, then mixed into two cups of dry Purina One Dog Chow, stirred vigorously to spread the good beef taste throughout the dog chow and the animals are now speaking to me again. Yes, Tillie, your can of Friskies is on it's way..... now, with everyone alive and well, I head back to the warehouse, the location of all my many world-wide ventures these days and after checking the obits, where neither me nor anyone I know was present, I take my morning pills. I can feel the ecstasy of my coffee moving in a tingling osmosis throughout my whole body (maybe I need to be put on the prayer list at St. Paul's). OK, no more Mr. Nice Guy, it's time to get down to serious work.... I select a folder that suits my ecstasy and after a bit of a search choose an image (the bottom one in image above, or had you forgotten what we were doing?) ... anyway, I look at this guy and he says to me, "I AM NOT JUST ANOTHER PRETTY FACE IN THE CROWD and I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!) ... and I think YES! and so the creative urge begins to feel stimulated....something isn't right about this guy. He's what we would call homeless today, but look at this teeth. My guess is he's been to a dentist every six months for the better part of his life. Usually homeless people are spaced out on drugs, alcohol or spray paint vapors and have long denied their teeth the vitamins and minerals needed in favor of larger quantities of their ecstasy of choice. Oh well, the project goes on.I took the bottom image to Virtual Painter and re--sized it from 476 pixels high to 1500 pixels, which brought the width to 2666 pixels. This is the size that my software works best and every size changes the outcome of the results. With the new size, I made the following choices on Virtual Painter ...background ... cork marbleized filter ..............collagescale ............100material.........50rendering.......100coloration......50deformation...100focus............100... with those selections applied I had the image in the middle, which seemed just a little bit bland, so I took it to Paint Shop Pro 9 and made the lights a bit lighter and the darks a bit darker. I used only one tool to do the whole correction. I went to Effects, chose Lighting and Contrast and then did three applications of darkening using Lighting and Contrast at -21 for lightening and +21 for contrast. It was too dark, but I knew the Clarify tool would correct the problem. So, back to Effects, then Lighting and Contrast, then the first selection under Lighting and Contrast, Clarify set at the maximum which is 5. I did three applications of Clarify. .... and so there you have the finished product as well as my life in a nutshell. I love doing images, as my Flickr photostream will testify. I just hope a lot of other people can find redemption through art or whatever sounds you gong....hopefully NOT a bong.... so now, feeling really proud of myself, I jump to answer the phone, caller ID telling me it's Sherry in Tulsa. While I sound ecstatic for her, she is a bit grouchy with me and asks, "Why didn't you call me tonight?"... I explained I had planned to call her later this morning and check in alive (as I'm required to do twice a day). She says, "Later this morning. It's nine-thirty at NIGHT, Bill."... I roll over to the door and look outside....pitch black! ............SHIT!... and you ask me, "How's your day going?" |
| 撮影日 | 2010-11-22 23:58:55 |
| 撮影者 | mrbill78636 , PFLUGERVILLE TEXAS, USA |
| 撮影地 |