[DEEBARKHOUSE] 2 : 無料・フリー素材/写真
[DEEBARKHOUSE] 2 / displayelevenstore
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| ライセンス | クリエイティブ・コモンズ 表示-継承 2.1 |
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| 説明 | http:deebarkhouse.wordpress.comAn excerpt from my unfinished book...11:52am Sunday, Sep 2 I need to pause here at this point in the story for another explanation of sorts - with all these tails of debauchery surely in the back of your mind you must be thinking right now Im either a) completely irresponsible, b) crazy and/or sick or c) I just wanted to party to avoid growing up. To which I respond - on some level its all true. Not to condone any of this behaviour, but I can explain.It's not that I didnt want to grow up per say - but I didnt - then or ever want to grow up and do the whole thing that I thought was (and sometimes still is) expected of me. Getting a 'job' in an office, settling down, getting married, having kids, buying the mini-van and the house, while maybe all fantastic things for some people, always left me feeling dead inside.Anytime I do conform and get an office job the same scenario plays out. I get excited at first to learn something new. Then things settle down and the morning routine kicks in - which is as follows; get into the office, grab a tea, sit at my desk. Co-workers file in and the morning chat begins - "Oooo the coffee is a little (strong, weak, sugary - add whatever adjective you'd like here) this morning, who made it?" "Wow traffic was crazy this morning, backed up on the bridge a bit, yeah did you see that accident? Crazy."10-15 minutes after these rivetting topics the new topic comes - "Hey did you watch _______________ (insert popular tv show of the moment)? Wow, what a surprise ending, I could hardly believe it!"Conversations like these honestly make me want to rip my hair out and run around screaming. Not that I want a full blown debate on the drug wars, nuclear weaponry or the art deco momement before 9 a.m., but routine kills my spirit. I do realize that for some people there is comfort in this, and honestly sometimes I wish I was one of those people - but I'm not - so, I always suffer in silence through these moments, hoping that by some small miracle the ground just might open up and swallow me whole to save me from this banter.I hate feeling like a glazed over rat in the race. Get up, go to work, go home, watch tv, go to bed, do it again tomorrow.And yes, I've already been checked out for ADD, no I dont have it.I find tv to be spirit crushing and mind numbing - I relate to the bit in Trainspotting - Choose Life - I relate to the song We want your soul.I relate to subcultures that are DIY, and shun mainstream society.No, Im not some radical trying to create anarchy or overthrow the government. I know far too little on the topic of politics, and have far too of an "interesting / eyebrow raising" past to even go there.But I just can't eat anymore bullshit shoved down my throat about how I'm supposed to look (thinner, taller, whiter teeth, bluer eyes, tanned skin) or what I'm supposed to do in life, or even what I'm supposed to buy to make my hectic rat race life easier and more convienient.I surround myself with interesting and sometimes amazingly brilliant souls who view the world somewhere from the left, but generally in their own category.I love these types of people and sometimes consider myself (maybe not the brilliant bit) part of that peer group.So with this belief system in effect, its really no wonder I lept from high school into the depths of the underground. In an odd turn of events I finally felt like I could relate to others, and people actually understood where I was coming from... ****This excerpt hasn't been edited, and is part of my memoir that Im currently writing******© mgd. all rights reserved. contac us deebarkhouse.wordpress.com/ or displayeleven.wordpress.com contact displayeleven@gmail.com |
| 撮影日 | 2007-10-16 17:38:55 |
| 撮影者 | displayelevenstore |
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